


Numbing Rain

by Popsmart



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Brother Feels, Brothers, F/M, Fanfiction, Human Genji Shimada, Overwatch - Freeform, Sad, Shimada Brothers, Shimada Clan, Suicidal Thoughts, Young Genji Shimada, Young Hanzo Shimada
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popsmart/pseuds/Popsmart
Summary: Genji tries to come to terms with being what he is, but the road is definitely bumpy and he's struggling with all the pieces, trying to put them together so he can finally have some peace.This story follows Genji as he dwells on old memories both about Blackwatch, Angela Ziegler, and Hanzo.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Overwatch fanfiction, so please bear with me and excuse any information hiccups I'm most inevitably going to make on this journey through my late night ramblings and ideas.

Bustling with life, machines, and vehicles, the ground below Genji looked so comforting to just throw himself on, to just fall and splat like a bug.  
He wanted nothing to do with this city, with this body, with anything. It all just brought back painful memories that Genji wasn't quite ready to face head-on, but Zenyatta was convinced returning to Tokyo would ease him into the idea of going back to Hanamura, the small district within a large city. Genji used to consider the place his home, but that changed decades ago when he became a disgrace to the Shimada name.  
"Genji, I know you're distressed, but visiting Tokyo will help you on your journey to accept yourself and lead you on the right path. Perhaps even the path of forgiveness, but we will come to that eventually, right now we are focusing on loving yourself before we can even begin to introduce the idea of your brother being forgiven for the things he has done."

Genji clenched his fists and ground his teeth. Hard. So hard, he chipped one and hissed silently at the pain, trying to remember that pain meant he was still human, not the machine he was made to be. Zenyatta placed a sympathetic hand on Genji's shoulder, calming him.  
"Master," Genji turned slowly towards the Omnic behind him, "what if I can never accept myself? In the past hour we've been here, I've wanted to throw myself off of this building and spite my own body numerous times. I feel hopeless, like a lost cause." Tears stung his eyes and threatened to release all the pent up emotions of the past few years, but he refused to show weakness to his master. His father always called him a crybaby and he'd be damned if the last person he turned to for help looked at him as such, too.

"You'll find what you're looking for, Genji. I cannot promise when or where, but I know that someday the sun will shine down on you and you'll see what you really are, how much you are really worth, and that will be the day you accept who you are, what you've become, and love yourself. The darkness deceives us, but the sun always finds those in need of the truth and you'll get a glimpse. It will take time, but you're strong."  
Noticing the tension, Zenyatta took that as his queue to leave Genji alone. Before he exited the roof they had been sitting on for an hour, Zenyatta turned to Genji one last time.  
"While I'm gone, please do not throw yourself off the edge of the building, Genji. I'm going to seek out people who are looking for answers in their troubling endeavors. I will be back shortly."

Watching the only thing that stopped him from committing suicide leave through a giant, rusty door leading down into the main building, Genji sighed and shook his head.  
He was hopeless, pathetic. That stupid robot didn't know what he was talking about. "How could I ever live with being part machine?" He thought aloud, making his way towards the edge of the roof to peer down at the civilians, wondering if he'd accidentally hurt anyone on the way down. Was he even sure he'd die? Was it possible?  
Questions ripped through his mind and frustrated him even more.  
Genji stepped up onto the ledge, determining how far down the drop was and if it was even going to be worth it.

A clap of thunder startled Genji from his thoughts, making him almost fall off of his perch on the edge.  
Rain started trickling down, striking his metallic body. Genji extended his arm, opening and closing his fingers as the rain made little streaks. The last time he had actually felt anything was around the time that he was a member of Blackwatch. Scientists, along with Dr. Ziegler, created his body. Built it from scratch. They didn't do everything in a matter of moments, however. The team took their time creating him, fixing him, so at least once a week something new was added. The last body part to go was his human arm. The last time he felt anything, he was crying and hugging Angela as she made soft strokes up and down his arm, tracing the scars and the burns, tears filling her eyes. Her touch was kind and warm. It soothed him whenever he was in pain. Why didn't she tell him he would no longer be able to enjoy such things? No longer be able to feel her touch that made everything better, made everything go away? "Angela.." He muttered. "Why?"  
He was sad; confused. He didn't realize what consequences this body just might have, but it angered him when he found out and hated himself even more.  
Genji could _feel_ the pressure as the rain hit his body, he could _hear_ the soft tinks and plunks the rain made as it struck metal, but it didn't feel cold. Didn't feel wet. Not like when he had a body made of flesh and bone.  
How could someone miss the rain so much as it poured down on top of them? How could someone miss something- no- _need_ something that was there? Just right out of their grasp?

An idea struck him like the very rain pouring down.  
He could take his mask off! Feel the rain that way!  
Genji chuckled, shaking his head. How could he have forgotten?  
He took his visor off, looked up into the sky so the rain could hit him directly in the face. He waited what seemed liked minutes before realizing he could only feel the same numb pressure as his body.

Reaching up to touch his scarred face, a stream of tears slipped out of his eyes.  
Mercy had either taken away his senses or couldn't mend the damage done by his brother, Hanzo.  
His brother. The word sounded weird and foreign in his head. "My brother did this..?" He muttered, everything hitting him at once.  
His kin, his brother, his friend, his very _blood_ did this to him. "Hanzo?" The name tasted bitter and it stung him to even let it slip from his tongue. "That morning," Genji wept softly, "was the morning my life ended." He sucked in air, not even stopping to question whether or not he actually _needed_ air being in the situation he was in. It filled his chest, made him feel better, but the tears kept coming along with the memories he fought so hard to bury and forget about. "I was going to be like my brother when I grew up! I idolized him over our father! He was my older brother and I failed him not only as a Shimada, but _his_ little brother." Genji broke down in the rain, sobbing into his robotic hands, blaming himself for what he had become. ~ 

Hanzo ran to Genji's room, his chest heaving with anger. He spotted three bodies lying on the bed. "Genji!" He yelled, slamming the door shut behind him. Two women softly rose up, eyes going wide upon looking at Genji's handsome brother before them. "Genji! You promised you would be awake and do something to contribute to the clan today!" Hanzo shouted once more, kicking the bed and ignoring the startled looks from the girls. Hanzo was never really interested in girls, or guys for that matter. The family business was his priority, especially after their father passed away. It was up to him to run the family, to let the Shimada Empire live on, but he couldn't do it without his little brother, so for years he tried to reason with Genji, make him an active member in the business. Unfortunately, Genji never took him seriously. Never wanted to live up to the family name. He was always just- _Genji_. Always a crybaby, always pampered. No wonder he never took anything seriously, and no wonder he came home drunk every night with two or sometimes three women wrapped around him. It was sickening, to say the least. "Ani," Genji giggled, "why are you always so angry?" Hanzo growled and rolled his eyes. Of course, his brother was still tipsy from the night before. What did he expect? A fully functional brother for once? "I will not discuss this when you have company, Genji." Hanzo snapped. "Get dressed and meet me in the rock garden." He added over his shoulder before exiting the room, being mocked on his way out.

It was pouring outside by the time Genji finally composed himself and sobered up a little before confronting his brother. He was a little more than ashamed by the way he was acting earlier that morning, and he was definitely embarrassed that his hookups saw him getting yelled at like a child. "You're two hours late, Genji," Hanzo grumbled, looking up from his teacup that had presumably been sitting there the entire time he had been, too. Thankfully, Hanzo had chosen a table that was sheltered from the rain. While it was Genji's favorite weather, he disliked getting soaking wet after just showering and dressing. Genji rolled his eyes and took the seat across from his brother, noticing that Hanzo had been kind enough to set his place for him. "What's the occasion, brother?" Genji inquired, looking at his mother's old tea cups and teapot that had never been used since her passing. "We need to discuss your behavior and how it's taking a toll on the family, Genji. You're a Shimada and you hardly even act like it." Hanzo's face was stern and cold, staring daggers into Genji. The two siblings always argued over this topic and it always ended the same. They'd fight and get it over with, but something was different today and Genji couldn't quite pin what it was. "Ani, you can't make me participate in the crimes our family chooses to commit. I'm not a child anymore and you can't bully me into submission." Hanzo never took his eyes off of him, just sat in silence. This wasn't like Genji's older brother. The conversations they always had were loud and violent, but Hanzo seemed to be at war with himself over something. So deep in thought that he barely even cared that Genji was slandering the Shimada name by calling them mere criminals.

Hanzo stood up, slamming his palms on the wooden table. The teacups shook and one fell over. He walked over and snatched Genji up by his clean, buttoned shirt. "Come with me, Genji." He softly spoke, leading them through the rain and the rock garden. "Should we be walking through the gard-" Hanzo tugged harder on the shirt. "Shut up." He barked, scaring Genji a little. Regardless if he wanted to acknowledge it or not, Genji knew he was being taken to the dojo. They were going to fight and something in Genji's gut told him it wasn't going to be typical.

He was right.

Hanzo threw Genji to the floor and circled him like an animal. "You're a disgrace, Genji! A Goddamn failure!" His words bit into Genji hard.  
He always heard his father say such mean things when he fucked up, but never his brother. Never Hanzo.  
Sure, Hanzo often got into fights with him and he did call him names, but he was never so harsh. After their fights when they were younger, he'd even fix Genji's wounds.  
He'd put bandages on them and apologize for being so rough, but today was different.  
There would be no bandages, no apologies, no laughter after the fight.

Hanzo threw a green sword at Genji.  
"You don't even carry this around like you're supposed to!" Hanzo shouted, gesturing towards the sword; Genji's sword.  
Hanzo made a motion to kick Genji in the stomach but stopped himself.  
It wasn't honorable to kick your opponent when they were on the ground, unarmed.  
Genji knew just by that detail, this wasn't a normal argument. He was no longer Hanzo's little brother, he was his enemy, his opponent. His enemy.  
He had every intention to kill.

"Hanzo, what is this?" Genji meekly asked, slowly standing up.  
"You're too selfish, too bratty, Genji!" Hanzo ground his teeth. "Father never cared much that you weren't very responsible, but I do! In this world, you need to learn how to take care of yourself or you'll never progress! You don't learn anything, you don't live life realizing that there are consequences for the things that you do, but today is different.  
Today, you fight for your pathetic life and I'll show you the consequence of losing to me," Hanzo glared down at Genji, his jaw tensing, "unless you're willing to finally take part in the business."  
Genji felt tears ready to come up. He couldn't cry now, not in front of his older brother who often picked on him for it. Regardless, he couldn't help himself and the tears fell down his cheeks.  
"Ani, I love you, but I will never let you bully me into this lifestyle." He bent down and picked his sword up. "I will fight for my life today." 

Hanzo drew his sword, shaking his head. "I know you don't like pain, brother, so I'll try to be as quick and painless as possible for you.." He muttered. Despite his previous lecture, Hanzo still wanted to coddle Genji, to protect him even though he was ready to take his life.  
Genji was trembling. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to kill his brother or be killed _by_ his brother. How could something like this happen?  
Before Genji could snap out of his thoughts, Hanzo's blade sunk into his shoulder and he let out a cry of pain.  
The blood trickled down his side, making him feel sick at the sight.  
Just before Hanzo got another slice in, Genji's reflexes sprung into action and he was swiftly rolling out of the way to dodge the sword.  
"Fuck, this hurts.." Genji hissed under his breath, feeling the open wound start to burn as he put stress on his arms.  
He ran at Hanzo, aiming for his brother's chest, but he wasn't quick enough. Hanzo's blade caught Genji's shoulder once more, but it didn't cut very deep.  
Genji winced in pain, grabbing his shoulder and squeezing it.

In a last ditch effort to turn the tides of battle, Genji summoned his dragon through his blade. "Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!"  
Hanzo took action and desperately dodged the attacks threatening to end his life and make him lose the fight.  
"Ryū ga waga teki wo kurau!" Hanzo shouted, summoning his dragon as well.  
Genji had no time to react before it collided with his body, burning most of his skin.  
The pain shot through him. Everything ached and he just wanted it to stop. Nothing was even registering in his mind as to what just happened, especially the fact he just lost the fight because he wasn't on his toes.  
He reached up to touch his face, burning his hand in the process.  
By the time the dragon had left, he was already lying on the floor, blood gushing from his shoulder and unbearable heat rushing through his body.  
Hanzo walked over and cradled his brother against his chest. It hurt Genji to be touched.  
"No matter what, I will always love you, Genji." Hanzo softly cried. This was the first time Genji had ever seen and heard his brother cry in his entire life.  
"Then why did you do it?" Genji croaked. Hanzo sniffled, rocking Genji's body. "Because you're a danger to yourself and you're not meant for this world, brother. You're too fragile, too weak. This way is better."  
Genji slipped unconscious, his body going limp inside of his brother's arms.  
Thinking his brother was dead, Hanzo slowly lowered Genji's body to the floor and left his own sword on a rack at the dojo, never turning back after exiting.

~

"He's waking up!" A woman excitedly yelled.  
Genji's eyes fluttered open, staring up at a bright, white ceiling.  
He rolled his eyes to the left, looking at the beeping machines with long tubes coming out of them.  
Genji then rolled his eyes towards his feet.  
There were tubes attached to his body and his legs were encased in casts with wires and more tubes poking out of them.  
"Where?" He croaked, his throat dry.  
"You're safe now," he heard the woman say, "we have a proposal for you, though."

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! This took me a while to write and I was spending most of my time trying to research as much as possible before throwing myself in the middle of this.  
> Please excuse any information errors or things that generally didn't add up to the real Overwatch canon.  
> I tried to get it as thorough as possible before I wrote this, but some things were inevitable.  
> Also, during the fight scene, I mentioned Genji's face burning: I was referencing the fact that when we see Genji's actual face, he has scars, but they seem to represent burn scars rather than anything caused by a blade, so I theorized that perhaps Hanzo's dragons burned him.  
> Anyways, please give me feedback if you liked this chapter! I may do more if this gets good reviews!


End file.
